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My friend Joe sent these to me and I just had to post these online. I am sure I will pay for posting these Man / Men rules. But it really is worth the price.
But first - I ask please share this with as many women as you can. Print these out and hand these out to your wife - girlfriend - daughters - aunts - sisters - neighbors - strangers on the subway. Who knows these rules can only make life just a little bit more easier for all of us men. 
Now on to the rules:
Now it’s time for the man’s rules. We always hear “the rules” for the feminine side. Ok - we are now going to hear the rules from the man’s side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered “1″ on purpose. And we didn’t put these in a book and try to hide them from the men and we want you share them with all woman.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just say it!
1. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. I’m in shape. -ROUND is a shape.
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